Do you ever wonder what’s the point of keeping a clean house? Here’s how to find motivation and why I make my bed every day (even if I barely have time).
A while back I shared a list of “simple rules” that I wanted my family to live by–something I was planning to hang up as a little daily reminder. It included things like “be kind,” “eat your vegetables,” and “always do your best.” Funnily enough, the one thing people commented on more than any other was a line I honestly hadn’t thought twice about including: Make your bed every day.
Is this really a novel concept?
I have to admit that I am slightly obsessive about making our bed each morning. And even my husband, who used to make fun of this obsession, has now embraced it. In fact, these days he might be even more obsessive than me!
But it’s not just the bed. Most of the time, our house is pretty neat. Speed Cleaning is my jam–I love doing a quick sweep of the house every day. We also require our kids to make sure their room is tidy before they leave for school.
Until I posted that innocent-seeming list, it never even occurred to me that these habits might be considered odd. Even so, when I really started to think about it, I realized there are some serious reasons why I take the time to make my bed and tidy up each day.
1. It just looks better.
This should be fairly obvious right? Straightened sheets and comforters with pillows in their proper place are far more aesthetically pleasing than disheveled blankets and a pile of pillows on the floor. A sink full of dirty dishes just looks ugly, whereas I could stare at my clean and sparkly kitchen all day long. Likewise, toys and clothes off the floor and put away are so much prettier than things scattered everywhere.
2. I get more done when my house is clean.
Taking the time to focus on putting things in order–especially when I set the timer and race against the clock–seems to jumpstart my productivity. When I ignore the mess and try to work around it, I am more easily distracted by whatever comes my way, and at the end of the day I’ll find I accomplished almost nothing. It doesn’t mean I always keep my house clean, but I do get more done on the days that I do.
3. I’m not embarrassed to have people over.
I love entertaining and throwing parties and get-togethers, & greatly value hospitality. When my house is clean I am more likely to invite someone over on the spur of the moment.
4. I can find things.
This part of my life has greatly improved since our Great Purge in December, when we got rid of SO much stuff. Now that everything has a rightful place once again, it is so much easier to put it away and–surprise surprise–to find things again when we need them.
5. My kids play better.
My children have the incredible ability to make a mess instantaneously. Do your kids possess this talent? Sometimes it seems like they spend their entire day just dragging stuff out so they can leave it on the floor. During our great purge I got rid of 4 huge bins of toys, and there is still more purging yet to be done. I have noticed, however, that when we keep their room clean (and I do make them help with this), they actually play much better. Just like me, they can find the things they are looking for and focus on just one thing at a time instead of being overwhelmed by 5,000 toys staring at them from the floor.
6. It makes my husband happy.
Who wants to come home after a hard day’s work to a house full of chaos? There are far too many days when Husband comes home at 5:30 and the kids are hungry and crabby and screaming, dishes are piled in the sink, dinner isn’t made, and the rest of the house is a disaster. (For the record, he never says anything negative and will dig right in and help with dinner, then do the dishes.) But on the days the house is clean and dinner is made and the girls happily run to greet him at the door, there is an unspoken joy that lights up his face.
7. It saves money.
Taking care of my home and my things means I am less likely to need to replace something that gets lost or broken. When things are messy I want only to escape the clutter, which can often mean going to Target and mindlessly filling a cart with even more stuff we don’t need. When things are clean, I have no desire to be any place but here.
8. I am more creative.
Instead of seeing nothing but the mess, my mind is clear to see the creative potential around me, and my desk and table are clear to spread out and complete a project. Likewise, when my kitchen is clean, it makes me want to cook things! I know this doesn’t bother some people, but I have a really hard time creating anything–or enjoying the process–when I am surrounded by clutter.
9. It helps me get a good night sleep.
There is nothing I love more than crawling into a carefully-made bed. It is so comforting! Rather than needing to wrestle with tangled sheets or scoop up blankets from off the floor, I am instantly relaxed and ready for a night of rejuvenation. Even if I can’t manage to get to the rest of the house, I almost always make my bed because I hate sleeping in a messy bed. A made bed just feels better, the blankets stay on all night long, and I sleep much better.
10. It’s my job***.
When I signed up to be a stay-at-home mom, I agreed to all the duties that came with it, including keeping house. It’s not my husband’s responsibility to go to work all day then come home and do my job too. Yes, I work too, but my “work” is secondary to my primary job of Mom.
This is not a sexist thing. Early in our marriage, we agreed that a.) one of us would always stay home with our kids and b.) that the one at home would be responsible for running the household. In fact, when our oldest daughter was a baby, he was the stay-at-home parent for a year-and-a-half. During that time, he did it all–cleaning, cooking, groceries, & childcare–while I went to work, and he did an amazing job. I owe it to him to do the same.
There are plenty of days where my house is a complete and utter disaster. In fact sometimes by the end of the day it is a disaster even when I do spend time cleaning up. And that’s life. I try not to get too down on myself on those days I can’t quite pull it all together, but most of the time I do at least make an attempt. Because, when all is said and done, if my house is clean and my bed is made, I just breathe a little easier.
What would you add (or remove) from this list?
***UPDATE: This post is now a few years old, and while I still agree with everything I wrote, the one thing that has changed a bit are our stay-at-home parent roles. I am now the primary breadwinner for our family, while my husband stays home. That means that he now takes full responsibility for much of the day-to-day cleaning and laundry, though I am still the chief organize and bed-maker! I realize that we are very fortunate to be able to have one parent solely focused on running our home, and this post is in no way meant to be an affront on those of you who work full time and can’t always keep up. Keeping a house clean is thankless, never-ending job whether you are home full time or not. This post was only ever written a reminder of why I continue to work at it, even if it just gets messy again, and meant as encouragement for those of us who sometimes need a little extra motivation to get it done!
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I just saw a utube video of you that someone posted on iheartpublix.com and I am so glad they did, I completely agree with your videos and now your posts as I have just read them. I started two weeks ago keeping my house very clutter free... and it has made such a difference in my life... while I can't have a made bed, my husband works midnights so he is asleep in it during the day, I do have my kids room, living room and kitchen ten times cleaner than before... I never realized how much time I spent cleaning all the clutter we didn't need. I have two boys 3yrs and 5yrs... and I have had soo much more time with them!! Thanks for your postings and I will start to follow your page... :)
I too struggle with feeling chaotic when the house is a mess. I can concentrate better when it's clean...but also struggle with keeping it that way. I actually am mid-organization/deep clean on the WHOLE house (moving is a big motivator), and would love to keep it that way. So far, the rooms I've done stay pretty clean. Still have the big ones to do (kitchen, bedrooms, family room), which is a little overwhelming to think about, but ohhhhhh, how I love a space when it's done! :) That being said, I *do* make our bed every day - it's probably the most tidy room in our home. ;-)
I have developed the habit of always keeping my kitchen sink immaculate ( inspired by the Fly Lady) but I'm still not so good at making the bed- mainly because my husband wakes up later than I do and he makes the bed.
Great post! It does take some time to get it together, but once everything has a designated place, it feels wonderful and is much easier to return to a general state of cleanliness. We're still working on it in our household, but with only 4 more months of graduate school, we're going to get there!
I am 67 and retired but making my bed every day has been a priority for many, many years. I too like getting into a made bed at night. A friend asked me why I made my bed since I'd just be getting back into it that night. I felt and still feel just like one of the commenters above that it just feels good to get into a bed where the blankets and spread are where I can just slip in. My problem is my messy husband. I don't like clutter and he never even sees it! I call his desk the "toxic zone". Even the grandchildren turn their noses up at it. He is great about taking dishes off the table but he only puts them in the sink! Hello? Put them in the dishwasher!! Yet, he is great about doing things that are hard for me to do....like keeping the cat litterbox clean (I am disabled), emptying the trash, taking the cans out to the street and bringing them back, taking care of the yard and garden....well you get the picture. So I feel petty bringing up his clutter issues. Any ideas for a compromise? Great article!!
Finally, someone with the same issues I have. I like a clean, neat and tidy house. It stays like that all day until my husband gets home. Then there is mail scattered on the countertop, coats hanging on the back of a chair, even though he passes the coat rack as he is walking into the house, newspaper scattered on the couch. We have different bedrooms. Mine is always neat and clean, his is a mess. Uses the end of his bed as a dresser, has 6 drawers of socks, clothes all over the floor. I really don't care that he works, it is his choice, as we are both retired. It is a part time job. When he takes the trash out to the road, you would have thought he spent the day cleaning. It doesn't do any good to say anything, as he also have selective hearing.
I feel so bad when I read wives complaining about their husbands. If perchance he should suddenly be taken from you, you will spend your next lonely months wishing dearly that you had him back making his messes. There are so many things that are more important than a clean house!
My husband is the some way but I would miss him terribly!!!!
The "no I wouldn't" post above totally cracked me up! Luv that honesty!! :)
This entire thread made me laugh out loud!!
My husband, whom I love dearly, is the mirror image of the husband described above. In addition, he works in construction and looooves tools, wood and machinery.
My husband went on a guys weekend in July of this year. While he was away, I micro-cleaned out entire bedroom, (I usually only clean my side of the room). By the end of the weekend, walking into my room was heavenly!!!
The scent of clean sheets hung outside to dry filled the room. The dresser gleamed and Windows glistened, stepping over dirty laundry or mismatched shoes was no-more.
I loved my bedroom!!
It's now November. Four months have passed and the room has been cleaned, bedsheets have been changed, the carpet has been vacuumed, and the only part still attention worthy is my side of the room.
My husband is off again, this time on a business trip.
The dilemma?
Do I kick ass and perform a top to bottom clean out or stick to my weekly ritual of taking care of my side only??
And yes, I'd miss him, but my house would be much cleaner and I'd have much more time on my hands!
No I wouldn't
Unfortunately I work full time, go to school full time and my husband works full time as well. My house is not where I'd like it to be. It's messy and after working all day I just don't have the energy or time even to run around and clean, I make dinner and the boys load the dishwasher (now that I have one), if the dishes sit my dog drags them all over the house and outside, No Thanks! I cram all my major cleaning into weekends.. Make the kids help and then within a day it's a mess again. Sigh.. I often wonder if I stayed home what would my days be like becuase I'd actually have time to clean! When I had my last son, I was off for 3 months from work and I enjoyed being home. Felt nice to throw laundry in, clean the litter box, wash dishes, vaccuum, etc. without a major rush. But, back to reality.. I don't have that choice to be a stay at home mom, I have to work. So I make due. This weekend, will be my major cleaning weekend as i have to get ready for my son's birthday party in 2 weeks. But I also have a 8 page term paper due on Sunday. Again.. sigh.. oh well I'll get through it! Have a great day!
I'm not sure how hold your kids are but when my sons were 5 they graduated to being 'full fledged family members'. There was a ceremony and everything.... Hence, they started doing their own laundry, load/unload dishwasher, vacuum their rooms, 20 minutes before bedtime all tvs were turned off and they had to clean up their messes/put away toys, etc... At this time they also learned from dad how to help with lawn care on weekends eventually graduating to mowing the lawn/shoveling snow by age 8. No, we are not prairie homesteaders, etc... but I was raised in the Midwest where my dad saw no special treatment between girls/boys. We were all equal and he expected what was expected of him growing up post-depression, where his dad worked 2 jobs and wasn't at home to help his mom and sisters.
My sons are now 14, 17, and 19... they are completely self-sufficient. At age 10 I could take them to the store with a list and some cash to get some groceries while I did another errand. They can make a bed like no one's business, cook, do laundry, change the oil in our car, change the blade on the lawn mower... you name it.
My husband left 6 years ago and I was able to still maintain the home because my 3 men just kept doing what they were raised to do... live as adults in this world.
I worked 2 jobs, went to school, and was single but the house was maintained, inside and out. It can be done! Just needs dedication and earnestness from the family for everyone to act as a unit.... I'm now remarried and my husband is amazed as to how my sons just pick up the ball when its handed to them and run with it. No matter what the task, they are up for it.
My oldest is in college and is doing it all himself, financially and dorm-life. He has 'taught' other students how to do laundry, 'cook' in the microwave, fill out forms, iron dress shirts, etc...
I now work and continue to go to school but my home looks like Ruth's most of the time. I get up at 5 to get some things done and I am blessed that the 2 sons still at home do what they have been trained to do. They now cook complete meals when I work a double shift and my husband is working late as well. Sometimes they consist of Hamburger Helper and a can of green beans, but it's better than nothing. LOL!
Angela, I wish I knew how to copy your letter and send to my married daughter. She gets no help around the house (won't go into why) but she sure could use some help. Your letter might give her some ideas/help. Please advise. Thank you.
My goodness Angela, you have put me to shame!! I've been a widow for almost 3 years and have 2 boys, ages 11 and 6 and our house looks like a tornado went through it! It's so overwhelming, as I know the mess is affecting my mood, my productivity and my children's concentration. Funny thing is my children refer to me as a "neat freak". I love a clean house. I love a bed that has been made and the smell of clean sheets. I try to clean, but I cannot get through to my boys to pitch in and help. It's quite frustrating. Your post just proved to me that it is possible!
I wish I could share your post Angela, I love that you all work as a unit.
I agree!! When I had my daughter and was off my house was so neat. But working full time, pregnant and having a 2 year old, a husband and a 8 year old Boxer Dog...it takes a back seat until the weekend!!! Kuddos to those who make it a priority. I wish I was like that! I love clean and tidy houses! Maybe one day I will get my act together!!! lol
There are sites all over the internet for cleaning you do in small stages, which take only 15 minutes each day. Even for the busiest of us, that's not much time (set a timer!) and it will free you up from the massive weekend cleanups, so you have more time to enjoy life. :)
I second that, Nana! FlyLady is fantastic, maybe that can help you Debbie. You've got a lot on your plate, keep your chin up! Hugs!
your post was all I needed today!!! I have been married for a year and a half and I was pretty good in keeping the house always clean and organized, even though I worked part time. Now we downsized to an apartment to be closer to where my husband goes to school and I am 40 weeks pregnant and spent 7 months of this pregnancy dying with morning sockness. sometimes I get very sad thinking that if I cannot get it all done now I'll never be able to do it with a baby in the house!!! you are always such an inspiration!!! I prayed this morning that something would cheer me up and get me going (you know, at 40 weeks it is hard to get going), and your post totally did it!!!!
I love this post! I have a 2 year old who also has that incredible talent of destroying my clean house! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the picture of you girl's closet! I see a project in my near future :)
Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for this post! I have tried so many things over the years and I just can't seem to keep my house uncluttered. I know that it affects my attitude and my families. I know the cisual clutter is causing us stress. I know in my head everything that you said, I just need to DO it! Thanks for the reminder and encouragement to make it happen.
Denise
Great post Ruth! I am trying SO hard to keep a cleaner house but some days it just doesn't work. I also feel I am responsible for this (not Zack) b/c we also agreed that this was part of my job as a stay at home mom. It just makes it even sweeter when he does the dishes or vacuums the living room...because I'm not expecting it. I have also been trying to make my bed every morning and have watched as my girls have been following my footsteps. They have been making theirs in the mornings as well! Love it!!!