You CAN have the home you’ve always loved. These four simple but powerful questions can help you transform your house into the home you want.
Dorothy said it best–there’s no place like home.
It’s the place where you seek sanctuary from the rest of the world. It’s the place where your family spends time together. It’s the place where you feel most comfortable and relaxed. It’s the place you live your life.
And yet, sometimes, you find yourself wishing for something different.
Usually this happens when your house feels cluttered and so full of stuff that it’s hard to think of it as a restful dwelling, because all it does is stress you out. You’ve got so many piles of paperwork and things to clean up, that instead of a refuge, it feels like a constant reminders of all the things you need to do.
Or maybe you haven’t been able to decorate the way you’d like to. Maybe it’s not in your budget, or maybe decorating just isn’t your gift. Maybe when you look around, all you see are the unfinished projects you haven’t been able to get to yet.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Believe it or not, you can take back your space and turn your house into the home you want. You can create a welcoming space that is a reflection of who you are, one that encompasses your own family values and preferences, and is filled the things that give you joy and fulfill your needs.
Here are the questions you need to start asking yourself in order to get there:
If you’ve read this blog for a while, you probably already know that I just love to entertain. I love throwing creative themed parties, but I also I like hosting a simple get-together with just a few close friends. I enjoy the buzz of a family dinner when everyone is contributing and discussing the ins and outs of their day. For me this means that my home needs to have space for hosting–an extendable table that easily seats 12, and lots of space to sit down.
And while we do love to entertain, we are also a family of readers. While a huge library with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves and a ladder isn’t exactly realistic with our current space and layout, we do have a small library area and a reading corner where we can enjoy all our books.
For other families, a dedicated space for reading might not be important, but a space for sewing or crafting could be, or they might just want a nice place to relax and watch movies. Perhaps they use the space for inspiration to create art or music. Perhaps their home is reflective of their children’s talents.
If you’re a chef or an avid baker, then a house with a well-stocked kitchen might make you feel right at home. If your family loves movie night, then having your DVDs on display and your comfiest couch in your living room probably makes sense.
Reflect on how you use your space now and what you really value about your home’s layout and arrangement. What activities are most important to you and your family? Does your home reflect this? If not, what changes could you make right now to get it so that it does?
Some of us see our homes as a hub—a place we gather to do all kinds of different activities. If you work from home, you might also see your home as an office. If you teach school at home, your home is a place of education and learning as well.
Understanding the role of our home gives us a clear picture of how our home can meet the needs of our family. Do your children need a quiet desk where they can do their homework or do they prefer to work from the library? Do you do crafts at home? Is your home a workshop or studio as well? Is your home a gym or do you exercise outside? Think of the many roles your home can play and the overall role as well. For some, we sleep, shower, dress and eat at home, then spend much of our day away. Others of us spend nearly all our time within the walls of our house.
Do you feel proud of your home when people stop by? Does your home make you feel safe, cozy and calm? Is your home disorganized and chaotic, adding to your stress? Is your home fun and reflective of your family values, your talents, and your memories?
Really assess both the current feelings you get from your home and what you think your home should feel like. When people walk in, do you want them to feel calm, reverent, or formal? When you walk in, how do you want to feel?
Does your home help you feel calm and centered? Often, when our homes are full of stuff, disorganized and messy, we’re actually trying to fill a void or we’re buying items in the hopes they’ll make us feel better. In reality, it’s time to examine our emotional and spiritual state to reflect on where our needs are not being met. When you feel emotionally and spiritually fulfilled, you will no longer feel the need to clutter your life with excess, and to hold onto connections with items, rather than connections with people.
There’s a famous rule by William Morris that advises the following: Have nothing in your houses that you don’t know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.
Generally speaking, this rule should apply to almost every item in our homes. Because here’s the thing–we often decorate our homes based on how we THINK we should use our homes, rather than how we actually use them. Give yourself permission to be realistic. Arranging rooms so they’re comfortable and functional is key to transforming your house into the best home possible for you and your family
Finally, be sure to start small when you declutter and repurpose your space. Work a little at a time, breaking off small pieces that you can tackle in a day or two. Build on these victories and organize a little more as you go. When you understand each room’s purpose and its role in your home, you can work toward a home that reflects the needs of you and your family, and ultimately transform your house into a home you love.
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Creating spaces for the way your family uses them is key to making great decorating and design decisions.
I have a couple of things along the line of the keep/dontate/toss system that have helped me while we have been purging. Keep it if I use it, love it, or it has irreplaceable sentimental value. Sell or Donate it if I would purchase it myself, if needed, it might be collectable, and someone would be blessed by it. Toss it if it is broken or if I would not purchase it at a yard sale or thrift shop.
Since our children have homes of their own, passing things along now allows us to see them use heirlooms with joy, too.
I think that sometimes it is enough to change a few little details to your room began to look very different. For example, you can change the lighting of the room, add some new bedding store https://magiclinen.com/linen-bedding and just to remove the excess. I assure you, your room will look very different
I can't love this post enough! Throughout my adult life I have made a conscious effort to make my and my family's space reflect who we are, how we live, and what we love. As our family's dynamic changes, so does our home, which means we do periodic de-cluttering sessions, rearranging, and re-organizing to fit our current needs.
Just got the audio book. Hopefully I'll have time to start listening this weekend.
This is such a great post, exactly what I was looking for !
My home is the place that when I enter it, I leave the drama and chaos of the outside world behind. It's my personal oasis. Everything that's in my home brings me joy and serves a purpose whether it be entertaining, crafting, reading or just hanging out sipping a glass of wine on the back deck. It all has to speak to me and provide me with the peace and calm the outside world can not. Great post!
Great article and I love the advice of using spaces in the home how the family actually uses them. Practical decorating will make sense for the long term. Thanks for the inspiring article!