Reset Your Resolve

 

It’s February.

I don’t know about you, but February is not always my favorite month. The weather stinks, it’s too short, and all the big events–Groundhog Day, the Super Bowl, and Valentine’s Day–are totally overrated. In fact, if I am being totally honest, the whole month often feels like a big fat letdown!

But you see, normally it’s January that gets me all fired up–it’s the time for setting new goals, for wiping the slate clean and starting over. And there is nothing I love more than a clean slate!

But February?

That’s when all those big plans and resolutions we were so committed to start fade away, that time when the nitty gritty details of life start to catch up with us, right as our willpower starts to fade.

Please tell me I’m not the only one!

This year my biggest goal is to be in the BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE by my 40th birthday.

Believe me when I tell you that this was NOT a small goal.

Because I hate exercise.

Not just a little bit–we’re talking despise, loathe, abhor, detest, can’t stand, really really really dislike, would-rather-poke-out-my-eyeballs-with-a-toothpick-level HATE.

You know how there are some people who say they don’t like exercising but really secretly do?

I am not one of those people.

All my siblings, with the exception of me, have always loved all things athletic. They work out for fun, even on vacation, even when they don’t have to.

Me? I like books. And writing. And sitting. And Doritos.

Which is how I found myself, the day after Christmas, wondering why my face looked so puffy in our family Christmas selfie, then weighing myself for the first time in almost a year, and discovering that not only was I the heaviest I had ever been, I actually weighed 20 pounds MORE than I did when I was 9 months pregnant. Ouch.

Not only that, I just felt ugh. Unhealthy and out-of-shape. Hating the way I looked in photos and on video, not wanting to look at myself in the mirror, not wanting my husband to see me, and constantly feeling exhausted.

Basically, I felt like crap.

And I realized that something had to give.

In just 3 months, I would be turning 40, and I didn’t want to feel like this anymore. I didn’t want to feel self-conscious about the way I looked. I didn’t want to have to say no to television interviews because I felt too fat. I wanted to feel GOOD when I woke up in the morning, and I wanted to have energy for my kids and for my husband all day long.

And so, in my Living Well Planner®, I set this big huge crazy goal of being in the best shape of my life by my 40th birthday, which for me means losing 25 pounds and being in good enough shape to run a 10K in an hour or less.

From there, using our Goal Crushing® worksheet, I got real with myself about WHY this goal was so important to me—because I wanted to look good on video and feel confident about the way I look. But more than that, it was important to me to have more energy so that I can be a better mom and a better wife and a better boss. I was tired of being exhausted.

Once I was clear about my WHY, I identified the things I would need to do in order to make this goal a reality:

  • weight train at least 3 times a week
  • run at least 3 times a week, following a couch-to-10K training program app in order to be ready to run a 10K
  • stop drinking beer and eating Doritos
  • eat healthy, low calorie, high-protein meals and actually keep track of daily calories
  • start doing yoga again at least 2x per week to increase flexibility
  • drink at least 64 ounces of water per day
  • take daily vitamin & mineral supplements
  • weigh-in daily and take measurements weekly in order to stay on track
  • log at least 10,000 steps on Fitbit every day

Nothing I listed was crazy or radical—eat healthy, track your calorie intake, get more exercise. It’s all pretty basic, when you think about it.

Because the truth is that my problem was not that I didn’t know WHAT to do, or even HOW to do it. My problem was that I just didn’t want to. Exercise sucks. Dieting is hard.

It’s way more fun—and way easier—to eat Doritos.

But now, here I am, one month into this BIG goal.

I’ve lost 10.8 pounds and 9 inches

I’ve been working out every day. I’ve found new ways to add steps in at work, like walking to the office instead of driving, and walking around the block when I have to make a phone call.

I’m tracking my calories and eating right and taking supplements and drinking lots of water and doing yoga, and I haven’t had a single beer in 2018. Not even one. Last weekend I ran two whole miles without stopping. I even started drinking green tea instead of coffee, something I never even would have considered a few weeks ago.

And you know what?

It’s HARD.

Really really hard.

I really miss Doritos.

I still don’t like exercise.

I can feel my resolve slipping, as life starts to get in the way of making good choices. Between things like going on a business trip, taking a family outing to the movies, attending a spaghetti dinner fundraiser, I’m finding it harder and harder to stay on track.

And every single morning I have to wake up and make the conscious choice to get back on that scale, and to put on my running shoes and to keep going. Because at least once a day, I really feel like quitting. Especially now that it is February.

But there are a couple of things that keep me going.

The first is that I have told everyone I know—my husband, my kids, my team, my friends—about this goal, and they are all cheering me on AND holding me accountable. My kids and husband even biked behind me while I ran my first mile without stopping, and then again when I went for two miles.

I’ve realized how much need that. In the past, I’ve been too embarrassed and self-conscious to tell anyone, or to share my goals. And I certainly didn’t want anyone to know if I failed. It always seemed safer to keep in to myself.

But not this time around! This time I am in it to win it, and the more people I tell, the more motivated I am to stick with it, which is what drove me to share the very personal photos in this post. And let me tell you–it is super scary to be vulnerable!

The second thing that keeps me going is my WHY. Every time I feel discouraged, I re-read what I wrote on my Goal Crushing® worksheet about feeling bad about myself, and I remind myself of why this goal matters to me so much. I remind myself that the pain I am feeling now will be worth it in the end.

I’m realizing more and more that the secret to making a big change or accomplishing a really big goal is to want it more than you are scared of it. Your WHY needs to be bigger and stronger than your excuses. Because going after those big things is HARD. It takes continual effort and a daily commitment and grit and determination to see it through.

And so, even though it is February, and you might think it is too late to start setting new resolutions, or too late to get back on track with those goals you set in January, my advice for you is to reset your resolve.

First, think about your WHY. What do you want to accomplish, and why does this goal matter to you? Is your why stronger than your excuses? Will it compel you to keep going, even when the going gets tough?

And then second, once you’ve determined your why, tell everyone you know! Commit and make it real. Create real accountability so that you have no choice but to see it through.

You might just be amazed at what you are capable of.

Even though it’s February.

P. S.-Listen to my latest podcast about my weight loss journey Here.

Ruth Soukup

Ruth Soukup - LIVING WELL SPENDING LESS. Practical solutions for everyday overwhelm. Food Made Simple, Life Etc., Home 101, Smart Money. Start organizing your whole life today!

View Comments

  • Yes, excellent post. I get it about exercise, it gets tough around 40. I hate exercising...alone. I will only do it in a group setting, or, hey I just won't. I discovered that around 40. In fact I became an instructor (so I HAD to exercise, and couldn't smoke, ha ha! ) And you know what? It worked, and now I love to exercise, but still not alone. Spin, Yoga, Zumba, Pilates, circuit training. Finding a good exercise class is just another great way to have a mastermind group. I recommend it..and dare you not to like it a little.

  • I love this! It's SO very important to establish a "why" that's going to be stronger and more motivating than the excuses that will inevitably rear their ugly heads!

    In researching habit creation, I thought it was super interesting that research has found you have to lose at your goal, and then come back from that, at least two to three times before your goal can "stick" for good! I actually wrote a blog post about it, with a free downloadable habit creation worksheet!

    https://debtakesherlifeback.com/create-a-habit/

  • Love you, Ruth Soukup! You always motivate me!

  • Way to go on your own success so far! Here's to your continued success!
    February is the worst! Staying motivated throughout the year is hard enough, but there's something about February that makes me trip flat on my face every year.
    This year's a better year overall, but I really needed to read this. It lets me know I'm not alone! Just the other day I had to write out what my goals were (again!). I have them written down, but it helps me to get them to soak in by writing it again. I'll probably do this at least once a month all year.

  • A great goal you have and I'm super excited about how you will look on your birthday pics! Please, share!

    January has been *°CrAzY°* around my home and February started with my little one sick at home. Ouf... I'm anxious to get back on track and push through with my goals.
    I find it very helpful to take some minutes to plan. I mean seriously plan what I want to achieve and what I need to do each week and day to get there.

  • Love this post! I admire you for being willing to put it all out there. This post was just the motivation I personally needed this week AND I love it so much I am sharing it in my very first issue of my own personal newsletter as my #1 motivational post of the week.

  • Ruth,
    I found your website on learning to coupon. The websites you refer people to do not work. I was trying to go to this website: beginners-guide-to-coupons/cheatsheet/ but it is not working. Is there another site I can go to?

  • Timely article! Just when I needed it most. I share the same feeling with you- It feels like February is just too short. It's true, it is the month that the new year enthusiasm start to wane down.

    yeah.. exercising is not fun at all for me...good thing my metabolism still works well that I don't bloat much even if i don't exercise.

  • I needed to read this today. My father died in January (age of 91) and although it was somewhat expected, it hurts like nothing I’ve ever experienced. My grieving surprised me, derailed me, and now February is here and I haven’t started planning for 2018 at all. I’ve known I can start anytime, since I have the planner, but needed some motivation. You just did that for me. Thank you! Time to get off the couch and put away my own bag of Doritos! Blessings on your journey and mine….

    • So very sorry for your loss Marla. Remember to allow yourself time to grieve and go through all the stages of grief! I hope the planner can help you get back on track and start focusing again on what your BIG goals are.xo

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Ruth Soukup

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