A couple of weeks I wrote about the experience of accomplishing a lifelong dream, and more specifically, what it truly takes to make a dream come true. As I explained in that post, there is a whole lot of hard work and sacrifice involved in pursuing a dream. It means making difficult choices and a willingness to believe in yourself even when no one else does.
As excited as I am about reaching this milestone, as a mom of two young girls, the unspoken question that often remains in my own head is this: Does pursuing my own dream make me selfish?
I don’t think I’m alone. Honestly, I think many of us struggle with that very dilemma. How do we balance our ambition as people with our responsibilities as wives and mothers? When is it okay to push towards our own goals, and when should we hold back? When is it okay to be selfish, and when are we supposed to be selfless?
If only there were an easy answer.
The truth is that motherhood often comes with a strong dose of guilt. We feel guilty when we don’t spend enough time with our kids. We feel guilty when we spend too much time with them and not enough time on things like housework or meal-planning. We feel guilty for working. We feel guilty for staying home. We feel guilty for being too strict. We feel guilty for giving in. And sometimes we feel guilty for pursuing our own dreams and ambitions because it might mean we can’t also meet standard of the perfect mom we’ve set out to be.
But here’s a little secret we all need to know: None of us are Superwoman.
The reality is that nobody can do it all, and the ones who pretend they can are probably lying. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day. We all get the same 24 hours, which means that no matter what we do in life, we will be faced with choices.
So how do we make sure we have chosen the right path? How do we know our priorities are in order? Ultimately, I think we are all a work in progress, subject to continual re-assessment and self-reflection, but there are a few things that have really helped me along the way. They might just help you too:
{Continue reading at The Better Mom}
* * *
How do you find balance between caring for your family and pursuing your own dreams?
Have you heard the news? It’s the 12th Anniversary of our LWSL Holiday Planner! For…
LWSL & Co. Favorite 5 It seems crazy that it's fall already, but we can…
Lisa's Favorite 5 I'm a busy wife, mom, and gigi, so I'm all about finding…
Feeling like your finances are out of control can be downright scary. Don't miss these…
Amanda's Favorite 5 Do you spend so much time pouring into everyone else in your…
Danny's Favorite 5 Need some gift ideas for the Dads in your life? I've got…
Simplify your life in just 3 simple steps. Get our Living Well Starter Guide, absolutely free!
View Comments
These are fantastic guidelines! I think it’s very wise to remember to practice “continual re-assessment and self-reflection”. Situations can start out one way and end another, and if it happens slowly, we might not even realize that things are shifting out of balance. I try to reassess my goals and focus at the start of every month, to ensure that I’m still on the right track.
So beautiful and timely. Thank you Ruth for pursuing your dream and in return helping us to pursue ours.
Blessings,
Holly
This post is so true. I would love to pursue my passion as being a writer. I have already written a book entitled "A Work in Progress". I have so many more projects i would like to pursue, with me being a mother of two girls also amd balancing work life its challenging. However, I'm up for the challenge.
Great Post!
I realize that I'm late to the party on this one, but I just found your blog after someone in a Facebook group recommended your book. This post really resonates with me. Mom-guilt is a powerful and dreadful thing! God has been nudging me to find a better balance this year.
Ruth,
When I met you on Tuesday at MOPS, I was encouraged by your bravery and willingness to choose vulnerability while sharing your story. Of course, I was looking forward to checking out your blog, and I'm glad I did. I have again been encouraged by your words and blessed by many of your posts.
Thank you for this post. When I spoke, with hesitation, to you about the SheSpeaks conference, this was underlying; motherhood and ambition and all the guilt that stands in between. I have struggled since leaving my former career as an HR Director to be a stay-at-home mom with finding the balance of motherhood and ambition. Currently, that struggle is keeping me from pursuing either well and without guilt. I have been sitting in this place for quite some time. Thanks for taking the time to write this post- really great fodder for thought.
Blessings
I try to find balance all the time. I make sure what's important comes first which of course is my family and their needs. Once that is done I squeeze in work on my blog etc around them. Isn't that what working from home should really be like? Not family after work but family then work when its convenient. Well thats my idea of pursing my dream any way. Even if my blog never makes it if my family does thats all that really matters. But what I am finding as I put God & family first my blog is not doing so bad!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I can't say it enough. This is such an important conversation and I truly appreciate you writing about this.
Love that you tackled this. Such a timely topic and one that we need more conversation about.
Great article! Pinned it for when someday I have a little one and I need some guidance!
The beauty in your posts is not just what you say when you say it... but also the impeccable timing of the message that you allow God to speak through you. Thank you for these words TODAY!!
Yes! Her Friday newsletters always seem to be exactly what I need to hear!