Do you find it hard to hide your emotions from your kids? Mom sets the tone A LOT which means using these tips to learn how to reset your mood is important!
Though it has been a few years, I can still remember the conversation like it was yesterday. In one of our marathon phone sessions, I poured out all my frustration to my sister:
Chuck is such a jerk! I’m so tired of feeling like I can’t do anything right! And the girls are driving me absolutely crazy! No sooner do I get one mess cleaned up than they make another one. Annie still won’t sleep through the night and Maggie refuses to sit on the potty and they both just won’t. stop. whining. I feel so tired and crabby and angry! I just want to scream!
Although she was 3,000 miles away, her response stopped me dead in my tracks, and she may as well have slapped me across the face. Six years older, with kids that were now in high school, she had already made it through those exasperating preschool years. She quietly said, I know how hard it is, but you have to remember that a mom sets the tone for her household. The mood of your family will ultimately reflect your own. If you are crabby, they will be too.
My kids are a little older now, both potty trained and sleeping through the night. They pick up after themselves, at least some of the time, and I’m not quite as exhausted as I was when they were babies. While I still struggle with crabbiness far more than I would like to admit, over the years I have discovered a few surefire ways to improve my mood and my attitude when I am feeling on edge. They might just work for you too:
I can honestly tell you that there is nothing I feel like doing less when I am crabby than playing a game with my kids. Even so, I have discovered that there is nothing that will reset my mood or snap me out of a funk quicker than a rousing game of hide-and-seek. There is just something so silly about a full-grown adult trying to squeeze into a tight space! Other games that always seem to get us laughing include Spot It and Go Fish. (Or check out our other favorite family games here.)
I don’t know about you but I get some of the best cleaning done when I am really ticked off! If you really feel like you might explode, why not channel all that anger into a power Speed Cleaning session, something that will actually make you feel a whole lot better when you are done rather than something that will make you feel a whole lot worse, like yelling at your kids or husband. If you haven’t already, try creating a cleaning schedule that works for you, or use chore cards to make cleaning a game the whole family can play.
I love yoga, if for no other reason than it has taught me the importance of learning how to breathe. The next time you feel tense, try this exercise: Close your eyes and take a long deep breath in through your nose, then exhale very slowly through your mouth. Do this ten more times, or until you have calmed down. I’ve also discovered that this is a great exercise to teach your kids when they are upset!
If your kids or husband are truly driving you nuts and you feel like you might snap, do whatever necessary to remove yourself from the situation. Put your kids in their room for quiet time, take a hot bath or a long shower, or go for a walk around the block.
None of us is perfect. Every mom gets angry sometimes, and we all make mistakes. Acknowledge your feelings in the moment, tell yourself, “I am angry right now, and that is okay,” then also give yourself permission to let it go and to move on.
1. Play a game.
2. Clean something.
3. Breathe.
4. Take a time-out.
5. Give yourself grace.
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Great tips. A mom does totally set the mood. We need all the help we can get.
Thank you! I really needed this. I have 3 kids, the oldest has just turned 5 answers the youngest just turned 2. I’m a full time student and my husband workes a lot. I’m soooo stressed at the moment and I have been so angry and unfair to the kids these past days. Reading this helped me, both the tips, but also reading the comments and knowing I’m not alone in this
Nice one. Thank you for the simple tips. Really appreciate it.
Nice one. Thank you for the simple tips. Really appreciate it.
Really love this. I agree...playing a game is the last thing I want to do when I'm in a bad mood, but it does help! These are really great tips. My boys definitely feed off of my attitude.
Wish I had known this years ago. Maybe my girls would still be speaking to me now if I had. Kicked the sorry husband to the curb!
I needed this soo much today! My daughter has been coming home from daycare in the worst moods! I automatically get angry back and even while I tell myself to calm down, I still get angry! Then we just go around and around! Thanks for bringing reason to this season I'm in!
Thank you
It's comforting to know I'm not alone. With a energetic one year older, I have my moments of exasperation. Reading this challenged me to stay calm and positive when hot moments come.
I know when I'm upset my kids feel the negative energy I feed them; it piles up on them and bounces back on me again so I throw it back at them etc. It's all about being conscious of the energy we let out and the reasons why we're upset (most of the time it's a mix between having to clean up the house or lunch and being tired right). Nevertheless, they don't deserve to feel our anger... they're innocent and they don't understand. Plus, we feel super bad when they're silently asleep, all cute looking and all! Remind yourselves how lucky we are to have children - gifts from life, the joy they bring us, and remember they look up to us. xo
You couldn't have said this any better. I so needed to read this post tonight right here and now. I have been so cranky for awhile now and it's not pleasant. Not only do I not like myself, but I'm starting to run my husband off and my kids seem like they are happier without me sometimes. Motherhood, marriage and life is just so overwhelming sometimes and we all feel like running away, but where else would we go? What life alone could be more enjoyable then a chaotic one?
Thanks for listening.